


At Ease, Soldier

by InevitableBladders (TheTimelessChild0)



Series: America's Bladder [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: The First Avenger, Desperation, I reject your canon and substitute my own, Urination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:35:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22944145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimelessChild0/pseuds/InevitableBladders
Summary: 70 years is alongtime to go without abathroom break
Series: America's Bladder [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1649515
Kudos: 13





	At Ease, Soldier

The first thing he noticed was that he wasn’t wearing his uniform. The second, was that he wasn’t surrounded by ice. He guessed that he was in a hospital, but why they’d not placed him with other wounded soldiers, he did not know. 

His pondering was interrupted by his bladder throbbing. It was at least an ounce heavier than before the crash.  _ How long was I out? _

Steve put his feet down on the floor, and stood up. Immediately, a spasm forced his legs crossed. He decided to do some callisthenics with his arms while he was stuck in this position. A few leg massages allowed him to tensely walk to the door. But it was locked. He frantically searched the room. Except for a radio playing a recording of a game he’d already been at, ages ago, there was no chamber pot underneath his bed. 

Steve searched the walls for some secret mechanism. The tech involved with the super serum suggested there were plenty of secrets in the army. 

He frowned while doing a hop next to his bed. As a last resort, he crouched down, squeezing himself, before barreling through the locked door, and as a result breaking apart the cheap walls, hiding the outside  _ inside _ world. 

Cap suddenly had to outrun a group of seemingly black ops officers through an oddly glass-filled building. He briefly wondered where the government got the money, before panicking at the never-ending hallways. 

He darted down a more narrow corridor, decorated with a carpet, more similar to the design of Steve’s time. 

He was quickly cornered by several very large and very scary guns. A part of him knew to put up his hands in surrender, but instead opted to put them in his crotch, holding on for dear life. 

Fury smiled in satisfaction at the sight of the Super Soldier, knees shaking as if they would buckle under the pressure. 

“At ease, soldier,” he greeted Rogers. 

“I really wish I was,” Steve panted, turning around to face the man talking to him. “Could you tell me where I could find the..uh..” he blushed, not knowing how to phrase it politely. 

“Bathroom. You can use the one in my office,” Nick offered, opening a door behind him with  _ Director Fury _ on the door. 

  
“Thank you, sir,” Steve accepted gratefully, hopping to the door, giving Fury a quick salute, before putting his hand back between his legs. 

Fortunately, the bathroom was placed noticeably at the end of the room. 

He started to leak the second he touched the door handle, only managing to stop it by moving his whole arm to clench instead. 

Steve mentally thanked whoever put him in his trousers, as they were  _ much  _ easier to remove than his outfit. It was just a matter of unbuttoning, unzipping, and placing himself appropriately towards the target AKA the toilet bowl. 

The door wasn’t locked, not that it mattered, both because Cap was too occupied with the relief of his first pee in 70 years, and because Fury had closed the office door as soon as he heard the first moan of “Jesus Fucking Christ, this feels so good..” 

“He’s Catholic,” Fury clarified, as if that explained everything. 

After 30 seconds, Fury put an ear to the door, finding that his _patient_ was **still going** **strong.** Half the soldiers left, to wait in the lobby, assuming that the man would be more docile when his back teeth weren’t drowning. 

Steve wiped the sweat from his brow after washing his hands. 

“That was a close one, thank you,” he thanked Fury once more. 

“No problem. Sorry, we forgot the chamber pot. It’s been a while since anyone’s used those,” Fury commented. 

“Really? How long was I out?” 

“About 70 years. Sleeping Beauty’s got nothing on you,” Nick informed him. 

“Son of a bitch was right..,” he muttered, chuckling to himself. 

“Who?” Fury wondered. 

“Erskine. He said the serum enhances things. It was why I couldn’t drink water before the procedure. Slightly full bladder= very full bladder. Pretty full bladder got filled to the  _ brim _ ,” Cap explained, raising his eyebrows and looking sideways in awe of himself. 

“Would you rather be woken up earlier?” Fury mused. 

  
“In a suit without a zipper? I’d have pissed myself,” Steve shook his head. 

  
“That reminds me,” Fury remarked. 

“Sorry about the blowtorch.” 

The End.


End file.
